While this is personal and has nothing to do with taking photos I realized that sharing via my website is appropriate. It sure is part of the story of Sally M.
As you may have spotted, I have changed my name on Facebook. The most public place!
This is a massive deal.
For me, for Stephen, for our kids.
While our near and dear have been on our personal journey with us, today sees me being public about Stephen and me.
I want to communicate to everyone in my life so that there is nothing unclear or unsaid. I know that some of you may have been confused or wondering. So I am going to share with you all what I need to share.
Stephen and I have been separated for 19 months now, it has been a scary, sad, liberating, horrible, extraordinary, intense and life-changing time for us both. 26 years of marriage is a long time, there is a huge grieving process involved.
When I told him I wanted to separate, there was a lot that was not working about our relationship and it was breaking both our hearts. And knowing that what ever I did, I was going to hurt people (most especially our kids), had me in a world of breakdown. This was a horrible head space and I knew that only I could be responsible for my own happiness. I knew I had to say stuff to my most loved people that were going to be tough for them to hear.
And what I am very clear about is that I would not be in the space that I am now without Stephen’s generosity and partnership. That may be difficult to understand, I get it. How can I say that about an ex? Aren’t we supposed to be at war?
This is SO not the case. There is nothing that we cannot say to each other, there is no conversation that is off limits. I am so very grateful that we now have the relationship that allows us to create futures that we get to say how it goes. Both personally and with each other. Oh yeah, we have our moments when we want to make each other wrong but we will not allow that to become how it goes.
I also acknowledge our incredible kids who have been a demonstration of love, at every turn. Separating parents is not something they asked for and despite the impact on them, they have been amazing for us both. Stephen and I are so very present to what matters most.
Now it’s time for our next chapters. Which begins for me with becoming Sally Batt again.
When Stephen and I got married, it was a very rare & determined woman who kept her own name. Tradition and society certainly had clear rules and it never even occurred to me that I even had a choice. In fact, I can remember judging the few other women I knew that had dared keep their name! They didn’t fall into line and that was way out of my comfort zone!
I have always missed my name, and way before I ever admitted it, even to myself. Sally Batt is the name my Mum & Dad gave me. It is me and I really like it.
So I’ve been Sally Stacey for 26 years. 26 great years and I love the name because of all that it stood for. Being married to a good bloke, being a mother to 4 amazing Stacey kids, being part of a wonderful family of Staceys…changing my name has nothing to do with wanting to distance myself from all of that. This is about me wanting to be Sally Batt because it feels so right for me.
Sally Batt. She’s here to stay.
She still has plenty of stuff to deal with, it’s going to take something to create a new and very different life, to negotiate the immediate future. But she also knows that she has what it takes to deal with whatever comes at her. What a bloody marvellous context to own.